Trendmasters kept fidelity with the "official" Burroughs' characters for their Tarzan line by ignoring the Jane character grafted on by Hollywood. But Jane was integral to the Disney film (and series) so we should have seen a Jane figure emerge, right? And not just inarticulate (sic) PVC.

Let's all agree: Jane is one of the most well-known characters in the Tarzan canon. So why is there no action figure in the toy line? Because... Mattel, the same company which built it's fortune on the back of Ruth Handler's Barbie has been very unsuccessful at selling female action figures.

They did do one of the first femmes, the Sorceress, but it was years after the He-Man line debuted and they basically had run out of reasons not to.

But of course none of the Hunchback toys sold as well as Mattel had hoped. Disney's animated Tarzan obviously was destined to sell a lot more toys than Hunchback ever could, and for obvious reasons. MonkeyBoy is a studly hunk compared to anyone, much less Quazimodo, and boys did buy up this line.

But I would have bet money that this Jane would have been bought by Tarzan fans in action figure form. She's pretty "classically" designed, kind of a cross between the era of the original books (where she didn't appear) and the Hollywood invention (where she never really looked this Victorian).

Maybe ToyBiz thought they were doing collectors a favor by offering an alternative to the other sculpts of Jean on the market. But while they were being so considerate, why not provide her with different accessories?

Especially since her powers make these weapons ridiculous. Why would Jean ever use the gun when she can use powerful telekinesis? She wouldn't of course, ToyBiz was just doing its usual infamous repainting.

The other Jean Grey sculpts (as Phoenix) run rings 'round this toy, plus they light up!

It would have been nice to have seen her kitted out as a regular X-Men team member, but this was a good first effort since it captured her youthfulness pretty well.

All told this was surprisingly well executed series, from production to packaging to realistic action posing. In fact, Jubilee can stand upright on her own! And not one but two (count'em, two!) female characters in this series.

Jubilee's black boots are rollerblades. They can be removed to reveal regular feet in scale. Her other accessory is less original, being just a recycled energy blast from Exodus.

I found this figure loose at a toy show, so I have no idea what her accessories were. I also have the "laser light-up" version which shipped after this first version but the sculpt was pretty similar except for the necesssary "laser" retooling.

According to Sarah Dyer, the third of three versions looked most like a girl, but I've never found one. Of course there never was a real Kaitlin figure, just these recycled, repainted, asexual Japanese transplants.

BTW, those are removable manacles hanging from her limbs.

And yes, Penance's skin in the comic reality is too diamond-shard sharp to touch as opposed to the hard rubber of this short-pack figure.

But after all there was at least a statistical probability (admittedly low) that a child would actually open and play with one of these figures. So rubber it was.

"Watch for a new version of this character to be timed with the release of the new movie Batman IV - The Clooney Cash Cow. Even better news is that (according to Eric Myer) we'll be seeing a Batgirl figure around the same time. Wow!

And let's hope that unlike this one, Kenner finally figures out how to get her to stand without hand support. Can you believe they actually had the nerve to put a disclaimer on the package to that effect? Talk about shutting the gate after the cow (sorry, Ivy) has escaped.

And while I'm up here on this soapbox I'd like to say that if Kenner is going to insist on action-posing they should at least deliver characters that can stand up. Is that too much to ask? That's the original Ivy on the left. And yes, her hair was that flat on top."

a) Clever people like to claim Clooney killed the Warner/Kenner Cash Cow. Of course it was Joel Schumacher who really screwed it up, but whoever and whyever, the movie and likewise the toys grossed much less than Warner and Kenner expected. Of course, the movie and the toys "grossed out" in other ways, didn't it? I mean, who can forget those nipple-suits?

b) We did get a new "Uma Thurmond" Ivy, and surprise, she couldn't hold her "weapon" and stand without hand support. Kenner still couldn't get it right.

and finally,

c) There was an "Alicia Silverstone" Batgirl but well... check her out above.

First the good news. This is one cute character. Like all the EWJ toys, her sculpt is a dead-on likeness for the character we see in the game. What's-Her-Name shipped with two weapons, a Really INTENSE Insectoid Gun and a Bug Launcher with four Bug Discs. A tiny Runt Zurb figure also accompanies the Princess.

Now the bad news. PWHN suffers from Poison Ivy-ness. That is, she can't stand up without hand support or being popped onto a figure base. Like the one in the picture I borrowed from another toy. Like the ones included in all the Star Trek toys that Playmates shipped around the same time. Maybe Playmates just forgot to test her ability to stand on her own.

Still, the must-have human in the set. Kenner also included a twelve-page mini-comic but by choosing to roll up the book instead of packaging it flat they effectively messed up a good thing. And BTW, notice that even with that huge weapon, Ripley is standing without hand support. So it can be done.

All things considered, Ripley does embody arguably the first hyper-competent, hyper-effective gal ever to star as the lead in an action film.

Making this toy a must-have for femme-collectors.

This is the original five-inch Rogue design "blown up". But Rogue somehow rated star treatment cuz she gets a faux leather jacket (nice) and a silly plastic belt that is waaaay too large.

During the design process for the typical five-inch toy guide models are cast double the size of the eventual toy, and those masters are used to generate the smaller final molds. So ToyBiz, a notoriously "economical" toymaker, simply used the models they had on hand for this line.

We've had many new molds since this first design, including dress-ups and repaints of other molds (like the White Queen). BTW, this design had it's own notorious debut when the initial five-inch version was so poorly painted that it wound up a variant immortalized as "Drunken Eye Shadow Rogue."

Like Exo-Skeleton Spawn from the same series SheSpawn's accessory bone elements originally appeared both in off-white/light-brown and in spawn-bone dark grey, detailed below left.

The lighter version disappeared first from shipping cases but eventually the less-attractive grey ones sold, too. She-Spawn had a third variant in reships where she was repainted black and white (no red on the costume) with a black gun. All these variation occurring in just one series.

Now most of this numbing variation at McFarlane is intentional, but some of it was just due to McFarlane being new to the business of making toys. Which might be why so many McFarlane collectors develop nervous ticks.

Voila! There she hides at the dusty bottom of a crumbling cardboard box full of cast-aside toys. She's not much to look at, a clumsy sculpture typical of the early 80's. Not much articulation. And what's her name?

Well, meet Sorceress, possibly the first female action figure. From the He-Man cartoon, this good witch was the owner of a magic portal (is there any other kind?) through which she could warn He-Man about exactly who or what was behind this or that nefarious scheme.

One guess only.

That's the She-Force series SpiderWoman at left preparing to cast her force nets. This SpiderWoman shipped in both dark purplish-blue (the original Iron-Man continuity version) and later in this black re-version as part of the re-issue series, "She-Force".

According to the packaging the "She's" were a covey of super-babes who all responded in-kind (and in-gender!) to a telepathic plea from Marvel Girl. "Sheeesh-Force" would be more on target. Just an excuse to recycle a bunch of molds I suspect.

But just to show that every cloud has its ebony lining, this ginned-up excuse for a series was justified (barely) by the inclusion of an evil Black Queen character/toy cloned from the White Queen, admittedly one of the sharpest female molds released by ToyBiz up to that date.

For the record, as Sarah Dyer has pointed out this was the original SpiderWoman comic character, but the second made into a toy. Knowing useful details like this will certify you as a hopelessly dedicated collector.

This toy comes packaged with a large gun, but try as I might, I couldn't get it to slide onto her hand. The instructions on the package are clear enough. They just don't work. Thanks, ToyBiz.

This first Storm to be immortalized as an action figure did her justice. I knock ToyBiz enough that you can believe me when I tell you this was a great toy in its time.

This was followed by a silver repaint which added circular wings and it is the silliest of the three paint variants. The last of this series of Storms wore a white costume (still with wing-cape) and this became the most common since it was re-packaged several different ways.

In fact, the cloud-white version looks so cool we can almost forgive ToyBiz for the silver version. Almost.

Likewise, there are dozens of fan pages dedicated to Denise Crosby. So, I'll leave you to Google your own data. Or even write your own page.

But keeping in mind the spirit of this list I must note that Tasha Yar is acknowledged as a milestone in a progression of characters dating back to Uhuru that finally resulted in Admiral Janeway. This stream of capable female role-models (and notable she-villains) is in fact Gene Roddenberry's legacy. A legacy not just for sci-fi but for western society. I don't think I'm overstating things.

As for the toy, it's typical for this line. Pretty good articulation equals good posability and playability but we still have more of the dated sculpting that was slightly cheesy even way back then. But it does look a wee bit like Ms. Crosby and that's always appreciated.

Topaz's metallic face and overall stiff-looking sculpt just don't do it for me. In fact, I would say her face might be the most unattractive of any plastic gal in my collection.

On the other hand the Queen Topaz repaint, with its cape and new color scheme, definitely made the most of this mold.