You banned caffeine and decapitated coffee
Folgers soldiers mountain grown for flexible strength
Maxwell's House felt your silver hammer bang down
While drafters and dodgers dealt gavels around

"Leave the markets alone!" The New Greeks chorus a grumble,
"Leave the markets, freemarkets, supermarkets alone!"

The nervous slap of your phone as it plays on tether
Let's ring someone who's home!
Let's dial a date and get alone together
Become victims of circlestance
Trip a short circuit romance

Better yet, let's jump the party lines
Jumpstart our hearts on thinner dimes

As the wages of sin keep mounting a shout arises,
"Here's to higher wages!
And vaya con carne and Viva Las Vegas!"